Introducing "Heat Vision and Jack"

Heat Vision and Jack was created as a 1999 pilot for Fox. Written by Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab, directed by Ben Stiller, this series was passed over by Fox despite critical acclaim from those who've been lucky enough to see it.

The 30 minute pilot is about an astronaut (played by Jack Black) with a medical secret who is on the run from the evil Ron Silver and the rest of NASA, with the help of a talking motorcycle called Heat Vision (voiced by Owen Wilson).

This is the pilot in its entirety.

NBA Ejects Tights

The NBA will seek to ban tights that have become ever so popular in the league this year. Apparently, Stu Jackson thinks most players are wearing them simply because they like the look.

In other news, Stu Jackson is reportedly blind.

Funding Provided By...

First & First would like to wish Charlie Rose a speedy recovery.

An Old Chestnut of Hilarious Insanity

I was searching around IMDb today, trying to figure out who played Richard "Boner" Stabone on Growing Pains. In my travels, I once again came across this site c/o Kirk Cameron.

For fun, try clicking both "Yes" and "No" to the "Are You a Christian?" question.

Hilarity ensues...

Hilarity c/o Mobile, AL

Bizzaro World

Meet Brandon Heath. He is a singer.songwriter. He is from Nashville. He sure does love god.

The Inner Workings of Utter Lunacy

Let me start by saying my head is swimming right now. I know I'm a little late, but I read the Scientology article from Rolling Stone and I am totally speechless. I had a hard time taking a single word seriously from anyone affiliated with the church.

The entire time I was waiting for a punch line or the revelation that this "religion" was started and being run by Kang and Kodos.

It's a long read, but fascinating - in a super-duper-outrageous kind of way.

Luke Duke in the Hooskow

I suppose drinking and driving was acceptable in Hazzard County...it most certainly is not in NJ

Take That...And That...AAANNNDDD THAAATT!

Mr Fik threw knives at the police...and then he threw his manunit.

Jigga Please!

Damon Wayans tries to trademark the N-word for a clothing line.

U.S. Patent and Trademark Office don't play that.

Wait..Um...What was the question?

New study says long term pot smoking affects memory.

Word.

Goodnight Whammy Man

Fans of the 1980s gameshow, Press Your Luck, lost their main man.

Long live Peter Tomarken

Live at the a-SMACK-polis

What'd you say about my music? Get out bitch!

One note of hilarity: Yanni's real name is John Christopher

And It Begins...

Gov. Mike Rounds (R-South Dakota) signs abortion ban into law.

This bill makes no exception for cases of rape or incest...amazing.

Chertie, You're Doin' A Heck of A Job

The more you read about Katrina, the more totally infuriating it gets. This is the newest bit of news, video and transcripts from the final briefing before the storm. Now I'm not saying that Michael Brown was the best man for the job, but it seems like he got thrown directly under the bus as the lone fallout to this administrations total incompetence. Clearly his boss (pictured), and his bosses boss (W.) deserve most of the blame.

ROOOOOOCK!

This is so hilarious...

Tomorrow night (March 2nd) at the Knitting Factory is the US Air Guitar Championships!

Amazing.

First & First All Movie Team

Top five movies: past 25-ish years, plus three honorable mentions. Any genre. I understand this is very difficult, but just give us your lists as it is today. (in any order)

1) The Shawshank Redemption
2) Pulp Fiction
3) Ferris Bueller's Day Off
4) Goodfellas
5) The Usual Suspects

Honorable Mentions: A Few Good Men, The Insider, Tombstone

On Second Thought...Have a Cow, Man

Americans know The Simpsons better than the First Amendment.

Is this really that suprising?